I don’t understand how every test can come back all clear and I can apparently be the “healthiest” person in the world, but still be so sick.
I also don’t understand how your Doctor of six years can not say one single thing to you in an appointment, and not offer support in claiming for a Disability Benefit.
WHY DO YOU THINK THAT SOMEONE WOULD WILLINGLY CHOOSE THIS LIFE OF PAIN AND SUFFERING? WHY WOULD I WANT SOME MEASLY GOVERNMENT PAYMENT WHEN I COULD BE WORKING IN MY DREAM JOB, EARNING DOUBLE THE PAY? WHY WOULD I CHOOSE THIS LIFE OVER THE LIFE I LIVED PRIOR?
And, I’m extremely tired of the question, “so, what were you diagnosed with?”
And my response, “oh, they have no idea”.
And the judgemental stares from friends, family, Specialists, randoms.
Apparently if Chronic, Invisible llness wasn’t enough to be confused about, I have to add the whole “undiagnosed” thing into it.
I’m tired of watching life pass me by and having no control over it. I’m tired of pledging my case. I’m tired of the people who pop in and out as they please, thinking it’s okay. I’m tired of the questions, the trials, the theories. I’m tired of feeling so much, yet feeling so little. I’m tired of people thinking they know what this feels like – when they have no idea.
You win, you win. I can’t see another Specialist, or take another drug, or answer another question, or hear “stay strong/positive”.
I’ve had enough. I give up.