A conversation with my best friend today has sparked this blogpost. We were reminiscing about the past, which brought up the issue of past friendships which had either been lost, or were currently in limbo.
Have you ever looked at your Social Media Friend Count? My reference comes from Facebook, but WordPress is included, Instagram, Twitter…
How many of your “friends” do you actually converse with on a daily or weekly basis?
My first example is WordPress. I have close to 750 followers, but how many of you actually read my posts? How many of you are culprits of scrolling down the newsfeed and “liking” posts without really reading them? How many of your followers do you actually speak to?
I know that I speak to more Bloggers than I do “friends” from my every day life.
Which brings me to example two:
Since being ill, I made a new Facebook. My friend count is 130. Approximately twenty of them are family, fifty of them speak to me once every six months and then think they have done their duties and go back into hiding, the other fifty have never said a word to me. I’m not sure why they have kept me, or I kept them… which leaves ten of them who I speak to daily or weekly.
Ten, out of a hundred and thirty.
And, my “friend” count is quite small.
This illness has opened my eyes to many things.
I now know the difference between those who truly care, and those who pretend to or don’t have time to.
What happened to people genuinely caring?
Is it too hard for someone to take twenty seconds of their time to contact you? To message or call? ESPECIALLY during ill health?
Why, with time, do people become sloppy with maintaining relationships?
Is technology to blame?
Is time to blame?
Are we too busy behind our screens, or with our own problems, to worry about what is surrounding us?
Or are people just… selfish? They prioritise what is important to them and maybe we just don’t make the cut?
I often wonder if the tables were reversed, how they would feel during a rollercoaster like this one.
I know I would offer my support in any way that I could, check up on them as often as I could and remind them that they are not alone… but my heart is big and I am selfless.
Can you safely say that you speak to more than fifty percent of your social media followers?
Do you think that you give more than you receive?
Indisposed and Undiagnosed 
I try, but I get behind reading sometimes and then get so overwhelmed I don’t know what to do. As far as followers, I found that many of mine no longer have blogs, their blogs were trying to suck me into some type of way to make money from my blog…..or I think they were just “fishing” for followers. Do I speak with 50%? Probably not, the people I do are truly the ones who matter.
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I do too, it’s okay. Life gets in the way.
I noticed that also – there are a lot of blogs here with spam or those who just want followers and like twenty posts in under thirty seconds haha.
xxx
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I like taking stock once in a while. I call it detoxing and yes, I pay attention to my subscribers (although it’s not reciprocated). I think some of them are astonished when I bring things up from three weeks prior when they mentioned some detail. One of my readers forgot our first conversation on my blog and was surprised when I reminded him. I feel like when someone subscribes to my blog the onus is on them to pay attention to you and not the other way around. So, I choose blogs to add to my follow lists very carefully. I am not afraid to drop anyone who is not responding to comments or doesn’t visit mine. One of my regular “readers” still doesn’t know I’m a woman, even though we’ve commented on each other’s blogs all the time and my Gravatar images have been quite feminine looking (to me). I’m sure he just got confused with too many comments to read at a time. I hope you’ll feel better soon and do not give up hope. There are humans out here. x
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Thank you for commenting. It is always good to hear other people’s opinions on this tooic.
I cannot believe that! You are wise to choose followers who are loyal to you, as you are them xx
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Thank you. It’s a process of valuing people who also value my time. I used to worry about feedback and realised that I needed to go first. It was difficult at first but it worked out in the end. As for real friendships they might be a challenge to hold down and maintain later. I’ve learned to put in the time and effort but not to cry too much if I have to let go. Best wishes for your well being. x
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WordPress is the only social media I have and I’m fairly new to it. Not many followers. I got rid of facebook when I realised that I never spoke to most of them and the ones I did speak to never posted to facebook. After 11 years of illness, I know who my real friends are and there’s unfortunately not many of them. There’s a few people I speak to regularly- about 5. But there’s only one person who I consider to be a really close friend. That started because she went to the same AA meeting as my mum. She recognised my mum needed help caring for me at lunchtimes when she was working full time and help round the house so she offered to do my lunches and clean once a week despite barely knowing my mum. It slowly morphed into friendship. She doesn’t do caring anymore since my mum cut down her work hours but I still speak to her a lot and we are very close. Luckily I have a very close and very supportive family so I don’t often miss having a big friendship group.
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I am so happy that you have a supportive family. I do, somewhat have one too. I guess we have bad days, days of doubt because of this illness. This blog has given me some wonderful friends… People I can actually call my friends.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts x
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I read them I am guilty at times where as I will skip bits depending how interested I am on the subject but I always read it to some extent before liking or commenting 😊
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i can’t say i speak to half. but i speak to the ones that count and there are some that are just very busy that i only get to speak to once in a while. i think i receive about the same as i give. everyone i reach out to usually reaches back out to me quickly. and there are some that just get too busy but i do know care.
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I agree with you. I try to read all posts I follow. But no everyone reads mine. And as you said, my Facebook page has 20 likes. I have about 100 friends. Yes people are selfish. Sometimes I feel I am hitting my head against the wall, but you can’t make people support you. I do relate to your posts and appreciate your comments on mine.
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I don’t even know yet if I want to go the facebook route. Trying to weed out the unwanted.
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I am about to give up on Facebook. It’s very disappointing
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I learned the hard way about who really cares and who doesn’t. This was even more clear when I got a partial diagnosis and the people I cared about most didn’t even bother to ask me about it. I think most people are selfish, honestly, and don’t think about it because it doesn’t impact them day to day. But I’ve also learned, even people I’m not the closest, who you’d think wouldn’t care to understand, offer me more support than anyone else as well.
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Sad reality. I guess they think that “oh they’re sick so I’m sure nothing had changed with them”. I feel like our time, our story is now unimportant to others. But, you are righty, a few people have surprised me. Maybe one or two. I hear from them more often than I did before xxx I wish things were different though. It hurts and it is quite sad
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I was really depressed over family ignoring it, but my husband made a good point… they didn’t believe I was sick, they thought it was in my head. Maybe they don’t want to admit they’re wrong or hear an “I told you so”. Whatever the reason, it still hurts. It still makes you feel invalidated. I stopped caring if I over post or annoy people with illness stuff all the time. This is my life. I didn’t choose to be sick. And unfortunately, it’s pretty much a part of every second on my day. I’m spreading awareness. I’m trying to focus and stay positive… even when I don’t know why I keep going… I do it for myself and others. You don’t like it, don’t follow me. The longer I live with my illness, the more I could care less who it bothers. You don’t bother to acknowledge me AND my struggles, then I don’t expect me to feel anything for you, good or bad. Sounds kinda harsh, but I’m tired of letting others make me feel bad for being sick.
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I feel like people just get tired cos its taken so long and our health seems to be worsening. Its sad but its given me a different perspective on life. We have to push harder on awareness even from our sick beds.
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From someone sick for 25 years, I think it’s hard for most people. They don’t know if you want to talk about it(I often dont). If you do talk about it, they don’t know how to approach it. They don’t want to hurt you. I think they are in a bad positions sometimes where they don’t know what to say or do about it. My friends and I wee rarely talk about my HI status. They only time it’s discussed is when I bring it up. I don’t think it’s because they don’t care. I think they just don’t know the right thing to do or how to do it.
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I’m not sure, how many people I speak to at least once a week, but I don’t have facebook as a tool to count my friends, more like an easy way to reach people when I need, easy way to organize things and so on. And yes, I unfriend some people from time to time, when I no longer spend any time with them or have no bond with them. And I have only Twitter, where I mostly just share my blogs and some photos from deviantArt. I have no instragram, no tumblr and such things, because I don’t see the use of it. I have some 100 followers on WordPress, that’s great and I’m surprised that even so many people are interesting in my mental problems and my world, to be honest :-). I don’t know how people manage to follow several social media, I have problems following two and only rarely go on Twitter actually. WordPress is different, it sends me email with new blog, so I can read them in mailbox and then choose to react on the blog page. And I use LinkedIn, but that’s different thing to the most social media. I think people take social media too seriously or may be I don’t take it seriously enough.
This might sound harsh, but people might just have their own problems and that’s why they don’t communicate with you. I know that for you their problems seem small, but for them it’s real. We always take our problems first, because we always think of ourselves first, which is natural. So you have just few friends, that’s great! I have always thought that it’s better to have only few friends, but good ones, than have looooots of them and no relationship with them. Sometimes, it seems to me from your posts that you expect everyone to think of you every day and when they don’t, you think of them badly. I’m sure they think of you more often than every six months, they just have too much of their own. And it might be for them just as real and difficult as your problem is for you, even though objectively their problems might be smaller.
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I try not to worry about followers, who’s clicking n who actually reads. Some days I’m too tired to do much of anything lol. But I really do have to weed out my Facebook friends. There’s way too many I have no interaction with lol
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I’ve often thought about this, and also have been blogging for several years, here’s what I’ve come up with.
Blogging
1. You have those who just follow so you will follow back
2. Those just looking for followers rarely if ever leave a comment
3. As with the above they tend to hit like in hope that you will like they’re post
4. On the rare occasion that they do comment it has little to do with your content, and tend to leave comments like “great post” or “thanks for sharing”
5. They leave links back to their blogs without commenting on yours
6. Many are in it just for the follows and likes, and rarely write substantive posts themselves.
7. There are also bloggers who post 6-7 times per day which is hard to keep with
8. I have about 20 regular commenters, which is fine by me
My own personal belief is this if your going to blog then blog, I’m not interested in those who always go on about content, your blog is your personal space and you can write whatever you want, and others can like, comment, follow as they see fit,
I do believe that if you are going to blog it’s important to interact with your commenters, doesn’t mean you have to follow their blog, but if you want a response to your writings, then respond to what readers comments.
Social Media
1, I have separate social media accounts for my blog,
2. I keep my blog and social media separate, and interact throughout the day with friends
3. with blogging friends I tweet throughout out the day with them, also I use Pinterest and Facebook
4. For me social media is another way of getting my blog out there, but as I said above I respond to all comments when received.
Depending on what you blog about in my case depression/homelessness, these are not necessarily everyday topics to most people, also there is a lack of understanding, no matter how much we try to educate through our writing, also sometimes there is the fear of saying the wrong thing.
Each time I blog i do think about whether I’ve revealed too much, and others including friends and family cannot always deal with the level of honesty, so they tend just to ignore.
Another factor, when you have devastating circumstances in your life, you will talk about it a lot, simply because your dealing with it on a daily basis, it’s always at the forefront, and people can become bored sad but true, especially when dealing with invisible and silent illnesses, to those who lack understanding, if you don’t look ill or are lying in an hospital bed, got a zillion bottles of pills by your bedside they question how ill you are.
Hence why i keep it all separate, and have found that this community tends to have a much better understanding as we have a commonality with our illnesses, and there is no stigma attached.
Sorry long response, but it was a great post and thanks for sharing:) x
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I only have maybe 4 or 5 regular commenters, but I do my best to always reply to them and interact as much as possible. They usually end up being the same ones who write blogs I am most interested in commenting on. Having just one commenter was a dream come true for me (I never imagined anyone would read or follow my crap).
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^this^
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Whoops wrong button.
I think some blogs are fast food and others are steak, and you can go more in-depth on what interests you at the moment….
Also, I think social media has made us socially awkward. If you post something – put it out there – people DO care while they’re reading. But it turns you into a sitcom character, a bit – once the channel gets changed, they forget. It’s not selfish, really – it’s poor conditioning.
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If I have liked it, then I’ve read it. I don’t read everything that comes across my screen but I attempt to read at least 75%. I don’t have that many followers nor do I follow a lot.
When it comes to people not commenting or feeling like they care, I have found that it’s less about not caring and simply having no clue what to say. People don’t do well when they can’t “help” and sadly with chronic illness there is little they can do other than be supportive. I’ve had to teach many of my friends how to be supportive. They don’t have to fix anything or have solutions. All they have to do is give is a hug, let me know they are there if they are needed, or just hold space with me. I also try to remember that while my life is bogged down in my illness, theirs is continuing and I need to be supportive of that as well. I try to ask how they are and take a genuine interest in what is happening in their lives. (hopefully without feeling jealous lol)
I don’t post personal things on facebook, only here and another site. Being sick is hard and it sucks. Sometimes, I can be there for others, sometimes it’s all i can do to survive.
Best wishes always.
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Very well said. ❤
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I talk to about 2 of my 130 Facebook friends. I’ve thought about deleting the account for quite a long time but to be honest it’s kind of this weird addiction of needing to see other people living their lives because I don’t get to live mine. As far as wordpress, I don’t follow that many people so I read most of what comes up in my feed. I agree with you thought that people seem too wrapped up to just check in once a week, or even once a month. It’s the out of sight out of mind thing where if they don’t see you, then you become forgettable (or at least I do). Sad but unfortunately true. You definitely find out who your actual friends are when you get sick.
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I ditched my social media accounts a couple years ago. So freeing, and I don’t miss anything out of people’s lives that I always talked to anyway. They text or call me and send pics over the phone. We call each other. We go out to lunch.
I have enjoyed reading your blog posts.
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Something I’ve often wondered myself.
With regards to fb, I no longer use it. Infact I call it FickleBook. People just seem to make their lives look better or worse than others.
A comparison site.
This is what led me to anonymous blogging. I wanted to share with/ support people with a similar mind set as me. Maybe gone through tough life issues that each can relate to.
I will only click like, if I have read the whole post and agree with it’s content.
The same as I will only click follow, if they have mentioned something in such a way that I want to read more of their thoughts.
xx
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Yes I agree to you that some people just follow or like your posts or pictures just to get them back 😥 I guess it is because of technology.. people be like, “Why should I call her/him if I can just text her/him?” but there are other people out there that are still old fashioned and still favours hang-outs and dates 🙂
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I agree with you.
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I know that I can be one of the people you are talking about, Cass. I have a deeply ingrained habit of disappearing. I learned it as a coping mechanism early in childhood, and it is still in full force today. It is something I am not proud of in the least, and that I constantly try to resist. But it is a major failing of mine.
As an introvert with extreme social anxiety disorder, interacting with people is a draining experience, no matter how much I may love them or care about them. I do my best to actually keep up with my friends and social contacts, which number near a thousand now, between my blogging, my social media, family, and activism it can become overwhelming at times. I will often over-extend myself and take on more than I can realistically do; haven’t learned to moderate myself very well even with 47 years practice.
I admit I do skip some posts of some people I follow sometimes. Often because the subject matter is either not of interest to me that day (I follow a lot of poetry blogs and am not always in a poetry mood), or because on occasion, the subject matter is going to be very emotionally and psychologically stressful for me to deal with at the time. But, I do not ever ‘like’ a post unless I have read it first. Sometimes, I can’t bring myself to ‘like’ it even after I read it either, depending on the content. So, if I have liked your post or tweet, or something, you can be sure I have actually read it and payed attention.
The highest compliment I have to give to other people’s writing, posts, tweets, and ideas is when I reply to them. As, I am sure many of you know, sometimes you just don’t have the spoons available to make that large of an effort. For me, it takes immense energy to beat my thoughts into some kind of semi-coherent order and make a reply. Some days I just can’t; don’t have the spoons. Other days, and if the person or post means a lot to me, I will do whatever it takes to reply, even if it leaves me emotionally and mentally exhausted the rest of the day.
I do find that I am more likely to expend that energy on those that reciprocate and leave replies for me as well. Despite my social anxiety, I do crave interaction; it is just very hard and requires a lot of preparation for me. So, when someone else has made that effort to comment and interact, I am more likely to do the same. usually, they are the people I become closest to and want to actually spend my spoons on anyway.
I could say a lot on my feelings about the socialization/technology debate, but all I will comment on here is that while technology may for some be a way to avoid interacting with people, for others, like myself, it becomes our saving grace and the only means of social interaction we have. Growing up deaf and isolated in a rural reservation, I did not have many opportunities for social interaction. Until I got into computers and technology. Suddenly, my hearing problem was not an impediment to making friends (my shyness and fear still were of course, but the language barrier was gone at last). The online communities I found became a type of social paradise for me. I began to come out of my shell and at least try to interact and make friends, even if I wasn’t often successful. It has taken me over 30 years to just get to the comfort level I am at now, limited as it is. Without the internet, gaming, texting, and social media, I never would have made it this far. Tech is a tool. It all depends on how you use it.
So, yes, I am socially stunted and I often don’t have the energy to interact as much as I wish or should. And often that hurts other people, even if it is never my intention. And, yes, sometimes I can suffer a particularly difficult blow and retreat into my inner cave and hibernate for a time, cutting off everyone and everything for days, weeks, or months. But, it is never, ever because I don’t care about you. If I have formed some kind of relationship with you, it is because I thought you were worth the effort and the spoons it took to do so, and I would never mean to intentionally hurt you by being distant. But, sometimes, my illness, which is mental rather than physical, will not allow me to interact for a time while I lick my wounds and restore my reserve of spoons.
Wow. Sorry for the massive comment…
TL:DR – If I am distant, I don’t mean to hurt you, I am probably currently hurting myself and trying to heal. I will be back as soon as I can be. Sorry. :<
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Personally, I just use my blog as a form of artistic, self-expressive therapy, – that’s why I have, “shh…”, instead of, “leave a reply”, in my comments section, however I do appreciate that your current situation means your communication with others is limited, and therefore the Internet must be a godsend.
When I feel I can offer some advice or encouragement to someone who follows me, I will try to leave a comment, but I’m such an introvert I’m always wary of offending others, inadvertently of course.
In answer to your question, “Or are people just… selfish?”, I’m afraid to say, Yes, most of the time I personally feel they are, that’s why I don’t have twitter, Facebook or instragram accounts, – because everyone else does, – and that just seems to be what their interested in most of the time, their digital lives, not your digital life.
– The less we set out to achieve, the harder it is to fail, and the more we can serve others.
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I don’t have so many followers on my blog, and I actually wish I had many more since I dream of being a writer so much, so I haven’t asked myself this question as WordPress is concerned.
About Facebook, I understand so much what you mean. Every once in a while I check my friend list and delete the ones that I’m not really friends with. I prefer to share only with who really cares, not with people I don’t even talk to.
Hugs 🙂
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Hey honey
I got your email and I would be honoured, but bare with me because it might take me a while to write as I’m currently quite unwell. My days are spent at appointments. So, I will do it as soon as I can and if you want to post it – post it whenever you can! xxxx
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Sure! No hurry 😉
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So true, I hardly facebook as I used to. I think most of my so called friends are waiting for the sickness to disappear before contacting me. It’s sad though.
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Forgot this part, I really hope those who read my blog can actually relate, therefore I didn’t link my facebook account to it to avoid the fake followers I guess.
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I find that many people simply don’t know what to say. They do care but they are afraid of hurting your feelings by saying the wrong thing. Some, men especially, seem to have a hard time dealing with illness because it is something they can’t “fix”… if they feel they can’t help, they just don’t respond. Sadly, there seem to be a lot of people who just don’t want to hear about it. They think it is “negative” and they don’t want to be brought down. Those are the people that I avoid. Those are the truly selfish people. In the end, I have found that there are very few people who will be there. My dog is more faithful than any friend and just last night I was thinking… in the end, it will be just him and me.
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I’m certainly guilty of being one who doesn’t start conversations or say much, partially due to just being a very introverted person by nature, and also partly because I often don’t feel that I have anything very meaningful to contribute. I do try to read everything, though; often, “liking” a post is my way of saying “Hey, I read this and it’s good, but I don’t have any words to comment with.”
A lot of times, too, I won’t talk to my friends for days on end because my illness will make me very antisocial; I’ve found it’s hard to come across people who understand that, some days this is the case, but other days some support is very much appreciated.
I think that social media has just created this culture where a lot of people want to become “celebrities” by collecting likes/friends/comments/followers, but they don’t want to give others real, legitimate attention. I probably talk to 5 of my ~200 facebook friends, but that doesn’t bother me so much as the constant attention-seeking behaviour I get from the ones I’m NOT talking to on any sort of regular basis; the “Like my page for my new band!” or “Join this game so I get extra stuff!” friends. I think the only reason my friend count isn’t down to ~20 is because that would require spending far too much time on Facebook for my liking, haha.
WordPress isn’t as bad, but I suspect that 90% of my followers are fake/spam accounts, but at least on here they are easy enough to ignore.
I would say the biggest exception is Tumblr, after leaving my old account and making a new one where I’ve been very selective about who I follow, etc, it has been a really positive experience.
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It’s hard to feel forgotten in general, but when you’re battling illness and have little to no means of making the effort with friends, it seems so much more hurtful. I’ve been trying to have grace on those who I know care and just don’t know what to say, but I also have had to set some healthy boundaries in an effort to protect myself from repeated pain. I’m not always the best at commenting on everyone’s posts here, but I’ve been trying to make more of an effort to do so…I do read a lot, I just don’t always pop into the comments to say so. Trying to do better! xo
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I kind of know what you mean. I know that I don’t always email the people who have blogs I follow because I’m very cautious about who really has the blogs (since as we all know, not everyone on the internet is who they say they are). Sometimes I wonder how many of my “followers” on my blog really read it regularly and how many just “like” it or “follow” it just because they’re bored or want to be part of social media. I know that the reason I sometimes don’t look daily or even monthly at all the blogs I follow is because they’re not always updated or I forget. I do genuinely care about who I follow though, and that includes you!
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Well this type of stuff is why I am not on facebook much anymore. I like the online environment and different ways to keep up as a tool, but when people get so focused about online life and relationships, everything is misconstrued. If a friend on facebook write that her dog died and I didn’t like the post or respond and then thought I didn’t care, it’s rather presumptious as I live my life and relationships in real time. I’ve seen posts on facebook that says something like this, ‘I’m clearing my friends list, respond and I will keep you on it’ and I think- ok defriend me lol, I don’t care. That kind of stuff is manipulative to me. In your case, why not think of the 750 followers as 750 times different people thought of you and read your posts? I think that would be cause for gratitude from the heart.
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It varies! 🙂
L. X
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I have a lot of facebook friends, but they’re not really ‘friends’. I don’t speak to any of them, the ones I do speak to are family and I have to admit… I haven’t gotten to know all my followers, but I would like to. I feel like I know most of you by reading your posts… and I do reply to every comment. I’m trying but life gets in the way. I do however read all the posts I like. I blame that on technology, and myself, but also if it wasn’t for technology I wouldn’t be able to read this post or even keep contact with my sister. Thank you for this interesting post! 🙂
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i have wondered about that off and on, but then usually just figure ill communicate with those who usually communicate with me, and whatever with the rest.
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I have wondered myself “what happens to friendships as we grow old?” I have “friends” that years ago, many many many years ago, we were inseparable. Spoke nearly daily saw each other weekly. They married later than I did, which was smart because their marriages lasted, mine did not. I think people change & that’s part of life. As we get older maybe we lose the need or energy to keep those connections as they were. Because we change, we don’t connect like we used to. I have told my kids, it’s so much harder to make friends as an adult. I think between work and kids and housework, we put the rest on a back burner.
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I know that I don’t speak to over 50% of my social media followers. That is partly due to some of my FB friends being connected to a game that I play, so we are FB friends only for that reason.
I find WordPress harder to gauge. For instance, I subscribe to your blog via email so I can keep track of your posts without always visiting. I also don’t “like” everything I read, especially when I know you are in pain and “like” doesn’t seem an appropriate response. So, I don’t think WordPress stats always give an accurate account of the number of people reading a blog and I think there are many readers who seldom/never comment. I admit I don’t check my wordpress stats very often, but I know I have some email subscribers who basically never visit my blog but read it all the time. I think I just have to accept a relatively high level of hot knowing.
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We’re all in a rat race, trying to be more “popular” or “cool”, especially the youngsters of today, the age group that I belong to.
We’re losing our identity somewhere.
It’s sometimes heartbreaking to see that you’re so lonely while standing right in the middle of the massive crowd.
I often wonder what the point of having so many people out there if you have to be so lonely all the time.
I really liked this post of yours, well written.
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I read the things you write, think about them, feel for you, and would like to be your friend.
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Fantastic post, on a matter I’ve contemplated a number of times myself. After I got in trouble on facebook, I hacked my account out of my life for over a year, then came back and was very choosy about the people I readded. As a result, my ‘friends’ list is a lot smaller, includes nobody from any of my jobs or people I am not related to or converse with outside of social media on a regular basis. As a result, I feel as if my experience on facebook is a lot more personal, and very much more enjoyable.
As for HERE….I find the interactions between myself and my followers or myself and the people I follow to ebb and flow. For several weeks I might have someone I go back and forth with in comments or replies, then- hear nothing from them after that for some time, and that doesn’t bother me.
The reason, I think- is that our blog posts can very specific in nature. What you might relate to today of content, you might not tomorrow. This, I think is okay, because it keeps things from getting stale. I don’t have nearly as many followers as you do, but I’m certain that the ones I do have, aren’t waiting with baited breath to see what I come up with every week. I’ll attract new followers with some content that they can identify with, then perhaps ‘lose’ them when my content migrates to something they don’t have a lot in common with. As far as who reads what….I scan my reader on a regular basis, and look first for posts from people that I’ve had heightened interaction with recently. When I read them, I’ll go back and look for some of the ones that I “Wonder that they’re up to…” Some get skipped completely. It isn’t personal, but based on titles or recent post content, I might just have nothing to add to their thoughts, or- in some cases….have absolutely nothing in common with what they’re saying.
There’s one woman I’ve been reading for months, but have NEVER commented on her stuff, or even ‘liked’ anything she’s written, although I read damn near everything she writes. Admittedly, I’m a little strange.
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When something truly “like” worthy happens in my life. The same 50 people tune in. Although 50 seems high, I live across the country from my family and friends so keeping that in mind there are 450 people on my facebook. I’d say I could cut that down to 50 but what an insult it is to remove someone from facebook that you don’t even talk to.
Has this now turned into the highest form of face slappery? I recently removed someone who I haven’t talked to in two years and BAM I got a text saying…. WTF!!!! lol so do you leave them on to keep the peace?
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That’s exactly why I left all social media a few years ago. Recently I started blogging and honestly was so naive I didn’t realise WP is also a REAL social media. But I’ve had positive experiences here on WP, because some fellow bloggers actually do comment and seem to genuinely read my blog. More than my FB friends, who I knew personnally! Anyway, it’s a strange world we live in now, isn’t it? I sometimes miss the way the world was before social media. Letters and real life conversations. And it wasn’t even that long ago! Interesting post!
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This post couldn’t come at a more appropriate time for me! I’ve just written one myself explaining my absence from the blogging world. I know I’ve not been very present or supportive lately – largely because my world has been turned upside down in a good way, I’m happy to say.
Certainly, you have a point regarding your frustrations about lack of contact from others. I think probably many of us feel the same – we have a handful of social networking friends/contacts that we communicate with frequently, while the others take on a silent presence. I don’t think that that always means people don’t care, some of the less active/more silent ones might just be the observers. They might take note of what’s going on and just prefer not to have much online history. And yes, there are those on our friends lists whom we have little to do with at all – but nonetheless we keep them. To sever the tie by unfriending or removing from contacts seems like a brutal cut off, we keep them there just in case. It’s a way of showing some kind of support and interest in others’ lives, even if only at times of big news. If we all spent as much time with everyone on our contacts list as we do our nearest and dearest, we’d never do anything else with our lives!
It’s true, we probably all could be a little more present at times for our friends, but we have to cherish what we do receive and try not to be bitter when attention doesn’t come our way. (I should listen to my own words here…)
Anyway, hope you’re on the up – I’m in the process of playing catch up… =/
Becs x
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Even your followers arent going to read every blog, heck I changed wordpress’s and cant even get have my followers to add my new page *shrugs* but I have decided quality of followers over quantity….~
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I am very specific about who I friend on Facebook. I have about 100 and half of them are family, so that I could easily contact them, should one of my parents die. The other 50 are people from the past that I had positive associations with in the past, but no longer speak to. Most people abandon ship when you become sick. It’s really sad.
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It is overwhelming as much as i want to try, i can’t. I give up and pay more attention to things that relate or mean something to me. I have made some angry but it just shows their true colors. So many think a high number of friends, followers, subscribers make them more important. On fb is where i have majority of friends. Here on wordpress zero. I follow some and a few follow me but we don’t socialize at all so to me that is as good as zero. But i am only here to read interesring blogs i like so that is all that matters. And guess what? Your blog caught my attention!
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