is my wall,
with your fingerprints;
a canvas of your presence in my bed.

is my heart,
with your beatings;
a punching bag torn and sewn with thread.

is my mind,
with your promises;
a distortion of an eternity together.

are my wounds,
with your bare hands;
a hole left to rott forever.

is the feeling,
you instilled in me;
a confidence now enveloped in shame.

is my colour,
with your darkness;
a failure with no-one else to blame.

is my breath,
with your grasp;
a strength I am unable to free.

is my worship,
of your soul;
a future of love without me.


  1. Beautifully written. I wrote poetry like that in my 20s.
    I have been thinking of you and was going to find your blog but you popped straight up in my reader. I have recently come across two new people with gastroparesis. One lives locally and has had a nasal gastric tube fitted. I also came a girl who has had anorexia and had gastroparesis at the same time. She recommended apple cider vinegar. Haven’t tried it with my daughter yet but intend to. Hope you are feeling better and I’ll back read through your posts to catch up xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rowena! How is your daughter? I smiled greatly when I saw your name in my emails.
      Gastroparesis is sadly becoming more common. I cannot believe you found someone local. A few of my blogging friends were diagnosed with mild cases. I am on an antidepressant now and it has cut my stomach symptoms by half at least. I have more of an appetite. The nausea is still bad on days and some days my stomach won’t digest at all, so I have to take digestive enzymes with each of my meals. I have a few herbal remedies for nausea and am trying to increase me vitamin dose to help my body and energy levels!
      I have not tried apple cider for the gastroparesis but I used to used it for reflux and it was incredible!
      Sending my love xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So pleased to catch up with you as well. I was very concerned about you last year and wished there was more I could do to help. My daughter is doing a lot better but still has days when she’s uncomfortable or has some degree of pain. It’s so frustrating to watch this and not know what she’s experiencing from the inside.
        I was intrigued by the apple cider vinegar and then remembered that my grandmother’s stomach ache remedy was grated apple left to go brown. Apparently apples are really good for you and best even on an empty stomach. This makes sense when you think of how it’s served up with roast pork. I am wary of people sprouting miracle cures but being more healthy doesn’t hurt. Found this re the apples: http://hubpages.com/food/Amazing-Apples-Facts-And-Health-Benefits
        Love to you too!
        xx Rowena

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve changed my entire diet.
        I’m not sure if you’ve heard of it but I used Iberogast for the pain and reflux too. It’s all natural. The chemist’s now stock it for about 15$ which lasts a month for me and I use it daily. You put a few drops in your water or tea or juice and it helps relieves nausea and pain. It really helped me with my pain. I will take a look at that website. Please stay in touch, and keep me updated on her progress!
        Cass xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks for that, Cass. Will keep in better contact and try that out.Many thanks. I also just spoke with a friend about the apple cider vinegar and she’s been taking it for body aches and pains and it really helps. She’s going to give me some. I’ve keep you posted on that too. Hope you’ve had a good weekend. We’ve had a fairly quiet one but went to the park this afternoon with friends.
        Take care!
        xx Rowena


    1. Um google something called Iberogast? It was just sold in Australia. You can mix it in drinks for her and it helps with my reflux and is all natural! The vinegar is a tricky one. Aloe vera juice helps too. It’s sweeter… If I think of anything else I’ll let you know x

      Liked by 1 person

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