Chronic Illness Awareness

An informative category filled with my resourceful posts; aiming to spread awareness and provide support to sufferers.

Need the help of my followers (:

Hello lovely people,

I apologise for my absence.
Things are crazy at the moment. I have gone from having minimal appointments, to suddenly having three to four a week! I now see two Gastroenterologists, am back seeing my Exercise Physiologist, Acupuncturist, Vestibular Physiotherapist through the Melbourne Dizzy Day Clinic, and my team leaders at the “Illness” Employment Agency. I was supposed to see the Physiotherapist through the Chronic Pain Clinic, but have had no time been well enough to attend!
Between my appointments I have had nasty flares of my nerve pain, and stomach. Once I get one thing settled, the other plays up! Haha, the story of my life.

My “small” kindness project has also brought back worldwide positive feedback, so I am super excited (but equally exhausted) from organising it all!

I’ve popped in today to announce that I have had multiple requests on how to donate, and have set up a “fundraising” page for anyone interested.

The “Be Kind To One Another Boxes” is a project in which I am funding the international shipping of ten full boxes of gifts (donated from multiple, worldwide, generous companies) to ten sufferers of Chronic Illness.

I decided to use my own savings to start this campaign with ten boxes, but word has quickly spread and now I have a room full of I N C R E D I B L E donations and kind-hearted humans wanting to assist in the funding of additional boxes.

If you are in a financial position where you can donate any amount of money – it will go towards the shipping of one FULL box of gifts to a stranger suffering from a Chronic Illness. I am aiming for $300AUD which will pay for an additional eight boxes.

If you would like to help out, please check out the Fundraising Page for more details. There you can also read a bit about my health journey, and how I came up with this Kindness Project.

A few of the wonderful companies who have already donated a considerable amount of product are:
MECCA Cosmetics
Breath Pearls
HASK Hair
HURRAW! Lip Balm
Pukka Tea

EVERY donation counts, whether smaller or larger! And all money is going to a really good cause.

Social media SHARES would be greatly appreciated!

The more awareness spread, means the more boxes I can mail, which means the more members of this very special community get a surprise box in the mail to brighten their day!

This is primarily an Instagram Project, so if you would like to nominate someone to go into the draw to receive a box, details can be found on my page.

C, xo

http://www.youcaring.com/bekindtooneanotherboxes 

http://www.instagram.com/indisposedandundiagnosed

 

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NEW PROJECT ANNOUNCEMENT!

Super excited to share that I am working with some incredible companies, and generous humans, to create a limited number of goodie-filled boxes for a few lucky members of the Chronically Ill Community.

I am funding the international shipping costs, and packaging, of these boxes entirely out of my own savings account, so there is NO payment required from you.

I have always wanted to do this project, as I know how lonely Chronic Illness can be. Many of us are left unable to work, unable to go to the grocery store and unable to spoil ourselves. Many of us do not have the luxury of paying for anything beyond medical appointments and bills.

The project’s ONLY aim is to send love and happiness to those who need it most.

I am in the process of collecting donations for the boxes for the whole of September and early October; aiming to have them packed and mailed in late October/early November.

I am aiming for ten initial boxes to be mailed worldwide, but this will depend on the amount of donations received. We already have close to fifteen larger companies donating a decent amount of product and samples such as soy candles, handmade jewellery, handmade comforters, hair masks, makeup and stationary.

If you are the owner of a company who have samples to spare, or you are a generous human who would like to donate any products – please send me an email with the headline “DONATIONS” to discuss.
(Note: All companies and donators will be personally thanked for their contributions in a Social Media Post)

If you have $15-$30 to spare, and would like to help, you would be able to contribute to the overseas mailing of one full box, and the chance to brighten the day of a stranger.
Please contact me for more information.

Do YOU know someone in Chronically Ill Community who:
– are in need of a cheer-up
– have performed a selfless act in spite of their own struggles
– have helped you through a rough time

Complete an act of kindness and nominate them to go into the DRAW to receive one of our limited number of boxes.

This event is primarily based on Instagram, so if you would like to participate or see the incredible product filling these boxes, then please make an account today and come follow us!

BUT considering that you have all supported me through the toughest of times and pushed me over the 1000+ follower mark, I will be accepting nominations from my blog followers who do not have an Instagram Account.

All you have to do is:
– follow the blog
email me at indisposedandundiagnosed@hotmail.com
with the headlineNOMINATION
– include the first (or full name) of the person you’d like to nominate, their country of residence and a social media url so that I can find, and contact, them if they win!
– also include WHY you are nominating them!

If you have an Instagram Account, then please personal message me the details above!

I am incredibly excited about this project, and humbled by the amount of love and positive feedback I have already received from people in the Chronic Illness Community and companies worldwide.

But, now I need your help finding the perfect well-deserving recipients of these boxes!

Love always,

C xo

I finally did it.

I used a Diffuser.

Hi lovely readers.
I have been given this product as part of a product review through the Chronic Illness Bloggers (http://chronicillnessbloggers.com/chronic-illness-bloggers/) network. Although the product was a gift, all opinions in this review remain my own and I was in now way influenced by the company.

If you are interested in reviewing products, please contact Julie through the Chronic Illness Bloggers website. She has created an incredible network, and is a wonderful advocate for our vast range of medical conditions.
There are many companies worldwide who are creating products that benefit the Chronically Ill Community, and who best to deliver an honest review of them? Us, of course.

The product I was sent is one that I have NEVER tried before.
It’s one of those things that you wish you had at times, but never get around to buying.

Organic Aroma’s Essential Oil Diffuser is elegantly crafted.
My grandparents have an old-school Diffuser machine that makes a lot of noise whilst filtering out scents, but this Diffuser reminds me of something bought in an antique store!

The Diffuser itself retails for 95USD (which is 129AUD), and was accompanied by an Australian adapter, and a sample size of Essential Oil.

Fragrances are a blessing and a curse for the Chronically Ill. Some of us are sensitive and feel ill at the potency of some aromas, and some of us reap benefits like relief from colds/flus, nausea and migraines.
I am usually Person A, so I was a bit hesitant at turning it on for the first time. To my surprise, the fragrance was VERY subtle and the only sound heard was a soft whisper as the fragrance was released.
A bonus surprise was that the Diffuser itself is on a colour timeframe and flashes gorgeous rays of rainbow colours whilst it releases the oil!
I took some photos of the gorgeous colours.


The colours are also very soft, so if you have a migraine it should not cause you any more discomfort.
It looks quite lovely in the dark, and creates a relaxing environment if you are feeling rundown, ill with a virus or you just need a moment of peace to yourself.

I only kept mine on for five minutes, and the delicate aroma of Chamomile, Bergamont and Sage remained in my room for just over three hours.

The Diffuser was incredibly easy to put together… similar to screwing in a lightbulb and switching it off and on.

Thank you to Organic Aromas for letting me try such an incredible product. I am definitely one happy customer, and cannot wait to purchase more oils to diffuse. If you have the money to spare or are looking for a gift, it is definitely a worthwhile investment.

Do you use an Oil Diffuser? What are your favourite fragrances?

C xo

Illness Army: “The Never-ending Journey”

PLEASE take the time to read this piece.
I promise you will not regret it. I applaud Joshua for being brave enough to write this. It shows great mental strength considering all he has been through.
I hope that by sharing this piece, it helps others who have experienced similar circumstances. We can still find love through our illness, and mental struggles.

If you enjoyed this piece, or would like to contact the author please visit his blog.

If you would like to submit your story to Illness Army, please check out our Submissions Guidelines Page. You can also contact me through our Instagram and Facebook account. I look forward to hearing from you.

I don’t know how to start this story, nor any idea for an ending, but we’ll get there. Everything takes time and patience.
But in all honesty, “everything” takes a lot more than time and patience. Heartache, pain, suffering, and loss are also a big component of anything you experience in life. After that, it just comes down to how you cope with those various elements.
For myself, it was always losing my fears in music and writing my thoughts down in a journal. I’m quite convinced that it’s saved my life – probably on more than one occasion. The funny thing is that I don’t write much anymore and I believe I know the reason.
Ever since I was five years old, I’ve had crushes on girls, while also wondering what my life would amount to – where I’d be, who I’d be with, if I’d be married – and I’ve gotten it all wrong. Why? Because I thought that I had to be like my parent’s – not in the sense of what they did, but when.
When I get married, when I get a job, when I get a car. I think most people do this considering your parent’s are your first teachers about how the world works, but I took it in a literal sense. Then, as my grade school years enveloped, I realized most people started having jobs and relationships and getting around independently – not me.
But my biggest concern was relationships. I always envisioned being married or – at the very least – having a girlfriend like my friend CJ’s brother did at the age of 16. Again, I took things to a literal tee – even at the age of 5. One of my closest friends gave me the best advice I’ll ever receive a few years back. We’d just gotten back to my house after a day out together when I told her I was sad and scared that she was leaving for school in Chicago. “Although change is scary, it can be a good thing,” she said. I hear those words every time I’m afraid of a changing situation in my life now, and I couldn’t thank her enough.
Caroline will always hold a special place in my heart, and the three years following her departure were tormenting and soul-stifling. But sleepless nights over her and sleepless nights over what ensued after those three years were incomparably more painful.
Enter a woman who we’ll call – um – Megan. Megan was a friend who betrayed the trust of myself and others to the likes of which shall never be healed. Then again, when you seduce the broken spirit of a depressed, anxiety ridden 20-year-old at the age of 35, what left is there to trust?
“A moment of passion and blindness was bestowed upon me only hours ago,” I wrote of the situation. “What of the repercussions? What of the repercussions? Have I sold my soul in this dangerously beautiful act? I have my demons, however, one has left me forever.” At this point in my life, I felt lonely and afraid of love – undesired mentally, physically, sexually – and I guess that’s what happens when you have a physical disability such as Cerebral Palsy.
At the time, my friends didn’t even know how to respond to the benign scenario. Some told me to accept it and move on. Others thought it seemed enjoyable. What followed the months after that night were feelings of guilt and sorrow, pain and suffering, insanity and malice. I’d cry myself to sleep numerous times a week wishing for someone to save me, while having flashbacks of her legs around my waist, her breathing – her hands pulling the hair on the back of my head – that kiss on my neck that overtook my fears at that moment and turned it into blind passion.
I whispered for her to follow me to which we found ourselves at a point of no return. I asked if she was clean, to which she nodded in confirmation. I didn’t have protection, and I didn’t bother to ask. I didn’t know how to say no, or even ask if she had any, so I let her straddle herself atop my lap as she thrusted her hips and removed her shirt.
And to think that this moment started hours earlier with her sitting inches from me closing her knees around my leg and giggling at every word I spoke. Although I know one thing’s for certain: you never forget your first. It all still feels like as if it were a dream – a concoction of a teenage boy’s ultimate fantasy – only to be acted out in reality, without all of the “accomplished feelings” and high-fives from your bros. I think I always knew something was going to happen that night – she was flirting like a high-school girl with an engorged crush on the dark, mysterious guy who always sat alone at lunch. Only, she was no school girl, and I don’t eat lunch. She brought out my fears and hopes all in an equal fashion. She enveloped my desire to feel normal – and normal I had felt – up until the point where my sudden attack of conscious decided to guilt me into fault for what ensued between two morbidly, sad lovers.
So, as any story goes, now what?
I managed to graduate from my community college and ended up at my state university four months later – to which I withdrew medically from my only semester.
I met with a counselor named Lisa for every week during that semester. Megan was the source of my fear, my worries. Walking around campus feeling isolated from society, from friends and family and having no self worth, make life pretty unlivable. I hated Megan. She took something from me I still can’t get back: losing myself to someone who’s in love with me as much as I am with them.
I felt unwanted by everyone and everything. I felt like a freak undeserving of love and affection because of my disability. One day, Lisa asked me if I were a woman and Megan was a man, would that change the meaning.of what happened between us. I said maybe, but I really meant yes. I went through with my actions that night because I was too afraid to say “No.” I thought she’d judge me, too, if I didn’t give in to her advances.
In an odd twist of fate however, that night’s allowed me to reconnect with others and with myself. Fast forward a year after I withdrew, and I met a girl online named Anette. Psychiatry has become my best friend, and I understand my importance to others now. Anette has become my saving grace and without her love, I’d be a body with no shadow.
Anette will be here with me next month for a week and four days. We’ve both said that it’s going to be the best time of our lives, and I can’t wait to hold her hand and feel her lips pressed against mine so that I may finally be free of the torment that Megan caused – including the torment my broken mind and heart caused me my entire life.

Illness Army: “Coping with Undiagnosed Chronic Illness”

I would really love for you to read this piece emailed through by Laci, as at strikes familiarity and will take you back to the earliest days of your illness… when your life changed.
At some point in our journey we were too undiagnosed, and the feeling of uncertainty is one I know I will never forget.
Our journey takes us through the motions of trying to find an explanation for each of our illnesses, but what happens when we take the correct measures, and still remain undiagnosed, and ill?

The author of this post can be found at www.liviatree.blogspot.com
A quick description of the woman behind the piece:
“I am a Chronic Illness warrior but I am also a mother, a wife, an artist, and a lover of all things beautiful. I started this blog to help myself cope with having a Chronic Undiagnosed Illness. Searching for a diagnosis can be frustrating and lonely so I also hope to reach other undiagnosed warriors, offer my support and hopefully help them feel a little bit less alone”

I struggle.
It’s no secret.
There is something going wrong with my body.
I have no answers–only long lists of questions, fears, worries…
I want nothing more than to walk my path with Grace. But sometimes it gets really arduous. Sometimes I cannot find a light. There is only darkness, a place where all Hope is gone and all that remains is Shadow. It is a place of desperation, a place where I’m not sure that I can handle feeling the way I do for one more day, let alone the rest of my life.
I am not always successful at hauling myself back up from the Shadows in these moments. But when I feel the sun on my shoulders again, when I feel Grace by my side, I remember things that can potentially help me when I stumble. And I will stumble again.
Here, then, is a partial list. I write it in the hopes that it will not only help me remember to walk in the Light, with Grace, but perhaps also help some of the millions of others living with chronic undiagnosed illnesses:
Suit up. (Assuming of course, that you’ve got the energy.) Wear skirts. And dresses. All those pretty clothes in your closet that you have because you planned on having an important job someday. Put flowers in your hair. Get a haircut every so often. And wear makeup, if you like that kind of thing. That way you won’t just be really sick. You’ll be really pretty sick. Because if you are going to spend a lot of time lying in bed or sitting with statuesque stillness on the couch, spending a large majority of your energy on not throwing up or falling over, you might as well feel as good as you can while you do it.
Laugh. When you wake up in the morning, even if you open your eyes to discover you still feel as sick as you did when you closed them or when you step out of the shower exhausted because of the effort it took to clean yourself; when you find your legs wobbling like they are made of Jell-O and when you can’t think or speak straight, just Laugh. Share the crazy weird jokey thoughts in your head and laugh at yourself even when everyone else just stares at you. Laugh at how absurd it is that you feel so sick but no one can find a good reason for it, because it is, after all, ridiculous. Laugh even when you feel like crying. In fact, go ahead and laugh until you cry.
Cry. Let the tears run down your cheeks and make puddles on your shirt, your pillow, your partners shoulder. Cry because you’re sure that your illness is ruining your children’s childhoods. Cry because neither you nor your family can remember what life was like before you got sick. Cry because you’re afraid. Cry because you’re stuck and have so little hope left. Cry because people you never expected to be there show you astonishing compassion. Cry because some of the people you thought would be there for you aren’t. Cry for all the losses. Let it all out. Cry until your tears run dry and until you are able to let go of all the guilt and shame and anger and fear, even if it’s only a temporary letting go.

Be grateful. Thank your family members and caregivers and friends. Constantly. Thank your friends for encouraging you when you find yourself in the depths of despair. Thank them for enjoying the time they spend with you, even when that means (as it frequently does) just sitting together. Thank them for telling their stories and helping you to feel, at least for a little while, like you have a life. Thank your family for picking up all the pieces you’ve had to drop and for being there for you. Thank your kids for their generous offers to let you lean on their shoulders when you’re dizzy. Thank your spouse for listening to you when you whine and cry and tell bad jokes and go over the same old possible-cause-list for the 400th time even though it leads in the same old circle to nowhere. Thank him for trying to help you find answers. Thank him for not turning away even though it would probably make his life easier. Thank him for not resenting you. Thank him for telling you that you look beautiful when you know you look like you somehow just miraculously escaped from a barrel of fighting monkeys.
Know your limits and respect them. Set reasonable goals. Do what you can but don’t do everything. Pick a room in your house and make cleaning it your goal for the day. Or just cleaning part of it. Or just get a load of laundry done so the kids have clean clothes to wear. Or just wash the dirty pan that’s been sitting by the kitchen sink all week. Or just make it from the bed to the couch. It doesn’t matter what it is. Do it and then stop before you are worn out. Just do a little and be proud of the little you do.
Connect. Find people who are capable of empathizing with what you’re going through. Find blogs written by others who are sick and undiagnosed and who know how overwhelming and terrifying and frustrating it is to be in this position. Read how they feel, how they deal and let yourself be comforted by commonality. Write them letters thanking them for sharing their stories and providing you a moment of comfort, a sense of being less alone, with the hopes that you can do the same for them.

And most importantly:
Believe. Believe that you’ll find a doctor who will know what is wrong and what to do. Believe that answers will come, eventually. Believe in remission/recovery even if you think it’s unrealistic. Believe that people care even though they fail to show it. Believe that even though someone said the complete wrong thing, they had good intentions. Believe that someday soon you’ll have a good day or maybe even two. Believe that you are loved. Believe that your children will be okay, that your husband truly doesn’t resent you. Believe that there is a greater purpose even if you can’t understand what it is.
Believe. And breathe.
With Love and hopefully a little Grace,
Laci

In Loving Memory.

*IMPORTANT POST*

It is through tears and sadness that I write this post tonight.

I received some devastating news, and have spent my past two days in a complete state of shock. I have gone to write this so many times, but I just don’t know what to say.

Back in Childcare, I became very close to a mother from Spain, as I taught her firstborn. She was my first friend at that centre, and her family became more like family to me.
When I fell ill in late 2014, she also fell ill to similar symptoms as I. I resigned, and we both spent time searching for answers and keeping in close contact. We forever spoke about how tough it was finding support for something that nobody understood, and how challenging it was to be told to “think positively” repeatedly when we were suffering in silence. We both understood each other on a level that not many others can relate to; a level that you would understand quite well if you too are ill. She gave her full support for this blog, and for that I am so thankful.

It has been close to two years since I last worked with her son, and saw her face-to-face. We spoke every few weeks and shared health, children and life updates, and I was only catching up on her photos with the children a few days ago, when I found out the horrible news.

I can’t even say it, because I don’t want to believe it.

I know that this message must be shared, but I wish every second that it was not with my friend as the example.

I find myself grieving for the loss of a friend, and grieving for a husband and two younger children who are without a wife and mother from this day forth.

I cannot stress the following enough:

Chronic Illness, whether mental, physical or combined, is an incredibly difficult journey. The uncertainty is terrifying, the tests are invasive, the symptoms are debilitating. It is a burden, it is lifechanging, it is exhausting, it is lonely, it is depressing…
But please, please don’t let it become a death sentence.
Do not let the overwhelming darkness of Chronic Illness kill you.

Your parents, your extended family, your children, your friends, your colleagues; I guarantee that one or more of these love you and care about your wellbeing.
I, a complete stranger, care about your wellbeing.
You might have mistaken their silence for being rude or uncaring, but they most likely have NO knowledge of your inner thoughts and pain. You must take the step to reach out. Reach out to anyone.
Please, do not battle in silence.
There are loved ones, Psychologists, Doctors and Counsellors who are here to listen to you, to help you.

In memory of my dear friend, I ask three simple things of you tonight:

1) Reach out to your loved ones tonight and simply, LOVE them.
Put aside all anger, all stress and just tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, please.

2) If you know of someone going through hardship, or haven’t spoken to someone in a while, I encourage you to reach out and ask them the simple question, “How are you?”
This simple sentence packs a powerful punch.
Mental health is real,
Suicide is real,
and with these three words, you might start the conversation that saves someone’s life

3) Please share this post in loving memory of my friend, and to spread awareness for those battling Suicidal Thoughts who might not think that they have a reason to live tonight –
You DO.

Finally, to my dear friend A,

I am having a hard time accepting that this is goodbye.
I still find myself going to message you. I want to speak to you just one last time.
I don’t want to believe that this is how our journey ends.
You were a unique soul and the most incredible mother to those beautiful boys. I mean that. You were an even better wife and a genuine, loving friend.

I am holding close to my heart all of the wonderful memories I shared with you and your family. I remember the day that we met, and knowing that our friendship would last a life time. I loved my job for children and families like yours.
I clearly remember cuddles with little one and nicknaming him a Koala-bear as he glued himself to my chest; I remember the Christmas Decorations you handmade me (which I still have on my tree each year); I remember becoming so sidetracked with chatting at work, that I’d think you were one of my colleagues as you’d be sitting with me and the children at story time; and I remember your complete support when I first fell ill.
You offered numerous times to care for me, and to have relaxing “girl” days at your house. You sent me photos of the children’s birthdays, because you knew how heartbroken I was about having to leave my dream job. When you referred to me as your son’s second Mum, I was overwhelmed at how close we had all become – that we were now family.

Each night, you would tell me about all of the wonderful adventures you had planned for the children at home; that you always kept them busy with cooking, decorating, creative activities. You were adventurous, accepting, and kind beyond words.
I was in awe of you.

I went home wishing that all parents loved like you and your husband did.
I wished that every child I would teach in the future, was like yours.

You were destined to be a nurse and mother. It was your natural instinct to care for others before yourself, and I wish you could have seen how great you would have been.

I feel absolutely sick to my stomach that we will never get to have that girl’s night that we planned for so long.
I hope you know how special you were to so many people.
I know in my heart that you were strong. This does not at all show any sign of weakness, or define you. I know that you were suffering, and for that, I am so sorry.
I can’t stop crying, A.
I hope that you are reading this somewhere, and know how much of an impact you made on my life. I know that you will continue to guide the little one’s on their path through life, and you have my word that I will be there for them too. I will remind them of how incredible you were.

We will meet again one day, and we will have that girl’s night we planned, I promise.

I hope you are painfree now, sweetheart.
You will be missed terribly, and loved always.

Until we meet again, Rest In Peace X

If you are, or you know of someone, dealing with Suicidal Thoughts, Depression or general hardship, please locate a Suicide Hotline or Chatsite in your given country of residence:
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

 

Exercise for Chronic Pain.

You’ve heard it before. Surely one, or numerous Specialists, have recommended Exercise to help manage your Chronic Pain, Depression or Anxiety.

I received the all-clear from my Exercise Physiologist to start exercising again today.
We had an hour chat about all of my fears and goals. This was our second visit, out of the five that the Government give me for free.
After he told me to restart the regime, the expression on my face prompted his questioning.
I explained that I am excited to exercise, but am equally afraid.

There is a certain fear that accompanies being Chronically Ill and having to exercise.
I know that the non-Chronically Ill would just assume it is being “lazy”, but it is an actual fear.

We fear pushing ourselves too hard, and that we cause our symptoms to fluctuate for a few days following. By fluctuate, I mean fullforce pain, migraines, body aches, nausea and dizziness…. for days as our body recovers.

We fear consistency due to flareups. How do we have a daily routine when we can’t guarantee how we will feel on any given day?

We fear not being strong enough to exercise enough. How can we feel strong when our bodies are falling apart?

We fear people judging us.

We fear feeling worse, and not better.

We fear stopping. What happens if we have an exercise routine and we miss a day? Will our bodies punish us?

And then there are the things that happen that are out of our control – I was struck down with the worst flu I have ever had in my life (caught from a child, of course) and then to add to that week of hell, I ate some chicken that went off and I had “mild” food poisoning.
My Doctor strongly suggested no exercise until I regained my usual strength.

My Physiologist sat back and looked me straight in the eye when he said, “what do you really have to lose? Think about it. You feel sick every day. You feel pained, nausea. You exercise and feel worse for a few days. You don’t exercise and you are causing your body more harm. You will feel worse longterm, so we need to push the barriers. We need to feel sick for a few days in hope that in a few months we will feel better. You have felt the worst of this illness – at the beginning when everything was new and unknown. Think of exercise in the same way. In a few months you will understand it better, and understand how it works with your body and makes you feel. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain”

Valid point for a twenty-five year old young man.

We spoke further and he passed on wisdom to me that I’d like to share with you, because I noticed that I have never written a blog about exercise (probably because I have mostly been housebound for a year). So if you have already started to exercise, are making plans to exercise, or are not well enough to exercise now but hope to in the future, I have some tips for you:

START SMALL
We aren’t expected to benchpress, run a marathon or do 100 squats on our first day, our first week or first month. We must start incredibly small and build. I kept questioning my exercises as being too “light” on my body, but he compared me to a child. We are learning to use our muscles again – the ones that have been in bed for a year. We have relied on walking sticks, wheelchairs and people to be our leaning posts and aids when we feel dizzy. We sit down when we are tired. We don’t get to go out much. We don’t use our muscles like we used to.
Our bodies are weak. We are weak.
We must strengthen, but slowly.

BE CAUTIOUS WITH MANIPULATION AND MASSAGE FOR CHRONIC PAIN
We can’t trust everyone we see when dealing with Chronic Pain. I have seen numerous Osteopaths, a Chiropractor and a Physiotherapist, and today some alarming things were brought to my attention. I have been left literally crippled after manipulation by the three specialists above. I was told today that all of the exercises these people had asked me to do, and all of the money I invested in seeing them, was a waste and causing me more damage. For each manipulation technique that took place, I was twitching nerves in my neck and back, damaged by the Shingles.
The exercises they gave me to complete at home, in between our weekly sessions, were causing more strain on my back, which caused more strain on my neck, and the pain excelled instead of settled. I would go back to them for adjustments, and the cycle repeated.
Manipulation must be used with caution to chronic pain areas.

DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ ON THE INTERNET
I have spent months Youtube-ing videos of Yoga and Pilates exercises to do in the comfort of my own home.
Little did I know that these exercises are actually putting more stress on my body. They are designed for “healthy” people, not the Chronically Ill. You need to find a professional who understands your condition and your limitations.
Which leads us to the most important point:

CHOOSE AN APPROPRIATE PRACTIONER
I am not completely against Osteopaths and Chiropractors, as many years ago I found them to be great use for a muscle injury I had.
But if your sole purpose is to try and get fit, or you have been told that you need to manage your Chronic Pain through Exercise, then I recommend that you too find an Exercise Physiologist.
Don’t walk into a Gym and request a Personal Trainer – they will make your body train intensely and it will cause you more damage. Exercise Physiologists are trained to deal with Chronic Pain patients and will tailor an exercise routine to YOUR body and symptoms.
Best of all – they are not allowed or trained to manipulate your muscles. They guide you through appropriate techniques at your own pace.

GET INTO A ROUTINE
Routine for Chronic Illness is a must regardless of exercise.
If your body is in a routine, it functions a lot better than without a routine.
It does not have to be a strict routine – just a loosely based one, so you can still cater to your symptom fluctuations.
I wake up at 630am every morning, I have a coffee and take my supplements. I am out on a walk, or starting exercise by 830am. If you aren’t a morning person, then by all means train at night, BUT be weary that if you train before bed, your blood pressure will drop after your session and it is not recommended to go straight to sleep with low blood pressure. This is why I try to train before 2pm; before I get tired.

DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Not all of your friends or Gym buddies will have Chronic Pain or Chronic Illness so there is absolutely NO point in comparing yourself to them. Don’t compare your body to them, strength or regime. Their exercise regime is tailored to their needs, and yours is tailored to your condition.

TAKE BREAKS OR REST DAYS
This isn’t going to be easy. Remember how long you have been at home for, how much medication you are on, and how little movement you are able to do. My Physiologist stressed that we cannot train seven days a week. We must allow two days of rest, ESPECIALLY when we start training for the first time.
You can also split your exercises up throughout the day so your body doesn’t tire too quickly.
For example, my minimum time limit for walks is 10minutes, but my maximum is 20. I don’t have to walk ten minutes straight. I can walk for five minutes for times a day.
I am only allowed to do thirty squats a day.

KEEP TRYING AND BE PATIENT
Strength will come in time.
Time might mean three months, it might mean a year.
If you try and fail, try again.
It is okay to take a break and try again – I have a hundred times before today.
If you keep trying, you can’t be so hard on yourself if you fail. And, you will fail. Everyone one day your small steps will be much bigger ones.
You need to be patient.
Wanting to exercise is the first good step.

Remember that fear is healthy for people like us to experience, especially when it comes to exercise. A year ago, I never thought I’d exercise ever again. When you are not in control of your body, and its symptoms, it is hard to think of being “strong”.

I am including my Exercise Regime below, so you can get a rough idea of how “small” I am starting. I don’t want you to think that I am running around ovals, or doing jumping jacks whilst dancing to Zumba.
This is incredibly LIGHT exercise, and some of you might be saying “that isn’t exercise”.
I am incredibly sore the next day after doing this – trust me.

I am going to try my absolute hardest to keep up this regime, and will keep you up to date with progress. I hope that this piece makes you think about your own Chronic Pain, and possibilities of introducing exercise into your day.

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If you are already on an exercise plan, I’d love to hear about it and how you are going/feeling. Please comment below!

C xo

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Happy One Year.

One year ago today I began my blogging adventure. I have met some incredible people through here, heard many remarkable stories of courage, and have made lifelong friends.

Thank you for welcoming my little blog with open arms, and giving me hope even on my darkest of days.

I hope, that with your assistance, we can continue to spread awareness for our Chronic, Invisible Illnesses, and grow this “little” blog into something viral. 
I could not have done what I have without YOU. I hope you continue to follow me in my journey.

Lots of love, and endless gratitude,

C xo

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STRONG Enough?

We each go through days when we tell ourselves that we are not “strong” enough.
Why?

Because society categorises us as not being “strong” enough.

As we go through our journey, we are subconsciously being attacked about our lack of strength; in ways that most of you might not even realise.

We watch television and are inundated with Gym Advertisements and the physical STRENGTH that each person possesses. Because exercise equals physical strength, and everyone automatically assumes that you are ill because you are not exercising, therefore you are not STRONG.
We use social media as self-promotion, and for product-promotion.
Here’s a line that many of you will know of, the dreaded “take this and you will feel STRONGER/better
We post photos and videos of moments that highlight our STRENGTH and happiness.
We leave Specialist’s offices feeling absolutely defeated after they use the cliché line “you just have to be STRONGER”, and one that was used on me last night “you have the STRENGTH to overcome this”.
We go home and we hear this popular line of encouragement used by our loved ones in an attempt to make us “better”. They have not experienced what we have, so they associate strength with getting better and tell us to be STRONGER. That is really their way of saying “I just wish you were better”, and that somehow if we try harder we can overcome our medical challenges.
We buy magazines, with covers of STRONG, healthy people.
Strength is marketed.
We leave Doctor’s offices being surrounded by people suffering from the common cold virus, and we subconsciously tell ourselves that we wish we just had a common cold because then we’d be STRONG enough to fight it, beat it.

And so, we go through each of our days telling ourselves that we are strong enough because of the comparison to others.

We go to bed wondering what else we could have done in an attempt to feel “better”, “stronger”.
We question ourselves; and please don’t lie, because if I can admit to doing it then I know you have too. We will sit in a slump, questioning our own body and what we have to do in order to gain this so-called-strength that everyone speaks of. We will cry, we will scream; wishing for our course of events to be different.

We pressure ourselves, because we feel pressured.

Example of Chronically Ill Brain:
Who do I speak to? Hello? Tell me.
Where do I obtain such strength to overcome my illness?
What does it mean to be strong?
Am I not strong enough?
Do I have to exercise, or exercise harder?
Do I have to eat healthier, or attend that party that I fear I will be too sick to make it for?
Do I have to gain muscle, or throw myself into a job?
Do I have to work five days a week instead of two?
Do I have to drive to that appointment, even though I feel too ill?
Do I have to step out of my wheelchair, or
not feel depressed?
Strength, strength, strength.
Why am I not strong enough to beat this?


I am here to tell you that,
I know the STRENGTH that it took to get out of bed this morning.
I know how many times you hit your alarm because your body ached.
I know the STRENGTH it took to feed your children and nappychange them this morning, and the effort it took you to have a shower this morning.
I know the STRENGTH you had when you dragged yourself to that appointment, and used all of your energy chatting to your Doctor about progress or decline.
I know the STRENGTH that it took to try and exercise today, even if that means walking to the mailbox and back.
I know the STRENGTH that it took to tell do, or say, something thoughtful to your partner, because you feared they would not know how much you were thankful for their support.
I know the STRENGTH that it took to pick yourself up off the floor after crying what felt like an ocean.
I know the STRENGTH that it took to try and swallow each tablet, multiple times a day.
I know the STRENGTH that it took to half-smile, or to laugh.

I know.

So, when you see or hear the term STRENGTH, you are to stop for a minute and take a deep breath in.

Count to five (that takes strength too).
And then I want you to tell yourself, and whoever/whatever is in front of you questioning your strength, this:

In this moment,
I am strong enough,
to make it through the next (moment).

In this moment, YOU are STRONG ENOUGH, to make it through the next moment.
That’s all you need to know. You don’t need to know how; just know that you WILL.

You may not see this strength that you possess, but it is there and I promise you it will be pulling you through the roughest of nights, the toughest of moments.
You go to sleep begging for a way out, and you wake up wondering how you made it through the night before; there it is, your strength.
You probably don’t even know that you have it, but it’s there.
I know it is, because somewhere within me, it’s there too and I have it to thank for keeping me here this long.
Strength isn’t about pushing your body to do the unthinkable, so you then have to suffer the repercussions afterwards, and it is most certainly not about beating our diseases. We can push ourselves to achieve more, but if we fail it does not mean we are not strong.
How lovely it would be to think of overcoming our illness, and maybe some of us will, but most of us can’t. We are tied to each other (illness and you, illness and me).

Sure, it would be lovely to push ourselves to achieve more.

There are things that our illness stops us from doing, and then there are things we fear doing because of our illness, but that does not mean that we are not strong enough.

It’s all well and good for people to push us to be stronger, to try harder; because most of them think that we sit at home doing nothing all day, and then the rest of them have our best intentions at heart. They just want us to be better, and there is nothing wrong with that.

But don’t let them question your strength.

Don’t let them question YOUR efforts, because I know.
I know exactly what it feels like.
I know exactly how hard you are trying.

We might not be physically strong, we might not even be mentally strong at times, and most of us will not be able to overcome our illnesses,
BUT we possess a rare type of strength that others don’t have –

Chronic Illness Strength,

and let me be the first to tell you that this type of strength is stronger than physical and mental combined.

In this moment, I am strong enough, to make it through the next.

C xo

  
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